EHS - Chapter 4

WHO AM I?

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I don't know about you, but there have been times when this question has haunted me. To answer it can often bring fear and anxiety, yet this is exactly where our journey to emotionally healthy spirituality must begin: knowing ourselves so that we might know God.  

Are you living someone else's life?

This is a trap that so many of us fall into and what Chapter 4 unpacks. Below we have pulled the main themes from this chapter, as well as provided questions and suggestions to help guide you in the discovery of your true self.

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 1. FEELINGS & SELF AWARENESS.  

One of the first key ways in distinguishing between your false self and true self is to ask, “am I neglecting certain feelings?"

Go Deeper

Are there certain emotions you don't allow yourself to feel, that you think are wrong to feel? What "rules" have you created against different emotions and feelings?

Challenge Yourself

Allow yourself to feel. Feel the full weight of what's going on inside of you. What do you discover when you allow yourself to do this? Make note of how your body responds to different emotions or circumstances (your palms get sweaty, your heart beats quickly, you feel like you could throw up, etc). What is your body trying to tell you? Journal! Write down what you discover and observe as you feel different emotions, maybe for the first time.

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2.  IDENTITY

Another key way to discovering your true self is to ask, ‘“how do I know I am worthy or have value?"

Go Deeper

Do you believe you are worthy and have value? What do you believe gives you worth/value? Do you think it is something you earn or achieve for? Have you experienced God's immeasurable love and acceptance of you? What was that experience like, and what did God say to you? What did you feel?

Challenge Yourself

Read each of the temptations and evaluate how you measure your value and worth. Identifying this "false identity" is the first step in no longer living a pretend life consumed with what we do, what we have, and what people think. Which one resonates with you the most? Why? Reflect/journal on what you discover about yourself. Again, allow yourself to feel.  

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3. DIFFERENTIATION 

One final key way Scazzero describes to identify your true self is to ask, "am I living someone else's expectations for my life?"

Go Deeper

Be honest when reviewing the Differentiation Scale on page 83. Where do you find yourself? How does that make you feel? Are you surprised?

Challenge Yourself

Make a list of your personality, gifts, goals, values, talents, temperament, your likes and dislikes–these are all part of the discernment and discovery of your true self. Practice differentiating between the goals and values and personality that other people have put on you over the years versus those that are truly yours. 

> > > by Stefanie Drawd